Loving Relationships Are Created From Wholeness, Not Woundedness!

1.26.15

Its a whole NEW new year. Its already brought a whole NEW focus to this website, which is RELATIONSHIPS. I’m very excited about this! That’s because life, itself, is as an intricately interwoven relational process (even if we haven’t lived it that way… yet.)

If you’ve noticed that starting off by empasizing the importance of creating relationships from the perspective of “being whole” rather than “being part of,” good for you! And keep on looking for paradoxes, because that’s where the whole illusion of separation–that anything is “either this or that”– begins to fall apart.

Paradoxically (lol), one cannot be part of a healthy, thriving relationship unless one enters it from a sense of wholeness. We ARE whole, everyone of us. Just as we are ALSO parts of many interconnected webs that would NOT be whole without us. The human body is a fine example of this. Lots of parts! Yet if each didn’t know its own integrity as whole within itself… yowza.

What if your stomach didn’t know it was a stomach? What if it thought “being part of” meant it it had no identity of its own, and so just sort of forgot its own unique critical function in the wholeness that it is part of, which is your physical body? Yikes!

You get the picture, right? So its the same with our human relationships with one another. If we enter them from a sense of need (ie, not feeling whole), then we’re entering them from a sense of brokenness… woundedness, in other words.

We need the “loved one” to fill the need within us.
We experience his/her wounded needs as deficits because they get in the way of filling our wounded sense of need.
Because they aren’t making US feel “whole” in whatever way WE need them to, they become “bad partners.”
We never really know the other.
Instead, we need him/her to be what WE want them to be.
And what might genuinely have begun as LOVE gets hijacked into an escalating cycle of blame, pain, and separation.

As a psychotherapist, I’ll tell you straight out that this cycle of repetitive wounding-and-rewounding between “loved ones” has made quite a good living for mental health professionals who work with couples for quite a long time.
Well the buck stops here. Time for a paradigm shift.

Here’s a video that will show you just how whole you really are– as well as the origin of the woundings that we keep perpetuating onto one another. Even if you’ve seen it before, I strongly recommend that you watch it again. And forget labeling it as “too metaphysical,” or “too any other thing.” Forget labeling period. Enter your relationship with the video without defenses, pre-judgments, or resistance (just as with any other relationship, right?) Because in our NEW Year of Relationship, everything is about you… everything is about all of us.

So I’ll be back soon with a whole lot of NEW tools and info about living and thriving IN RELATIONSHIP this year. It truly is a paradigm shift. The video sets the foundation for that shift. I felt that when I made it, and have heard confirmation of that from others  every since. Watch it soon, but make sure you can give it (and yourself) 28 uninterrupted minutes. Have plenty of water to sip as you take it in, keep sipping for the next 24 hours as you integrate it, and after about 3 days, let me know what happened! ❤

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Posted by judithdagley on February 10, 2015

https://judithdagley.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/loving-relationships-are-created-from-wholeness-not-woundedness/